Aufrichtigkeit

I can smell it, it comes without advice..
It catches you, it amazes you.
It drains you.
It leaves you alone with your fear, your own darkness, it corrodes every trace of happiness in your face.
It makes the pulsing blood in your veins disappear, slowly, painfully.
Painfully polite, discreet, docile, it deceives you.
It knows how to seduce you, it knows your weakness.
It makes you ecstatit, and then sends you to hell.
It throws mud at you, puts you down, makes you feel blue, defames, cheats.
If I was not talking about my strongest enemy, it would be meaningless.
I can feel it coming.
It envolves me in its own atmosphere.
Its peculiar smell, embracing me.
I can feel it coming, but this feels so right.
Am I against it? Then why it is so comfortable?
Inert, I let it controls me.
It penetrates me deep in my heart.
Why all those dizzy feelings?
I am feeling right. Torpid.
All my doubts disappear at the same moment your lips touch my face.
It must be for real. Now I can feel.
It dilacerates me, but I am numb.
I felt it coming and now it parasitizes me.
I can feel it inside me.
It steals my strenght.
And I cannot deny it satisfies me. Entirely.